Happy Full Moon. Last night I burned a list that I made during the dark moon of things that I will cultivate. The fire took off with such ferocity that it freaked me out and I stopped half way through and turned on the sink in which I had lit it.then I flushed the rest. During the dark moon I was very comfortable and had money in abundance and was even going to the bathroom in a toilet that had a phone next to it. it wasn't mine but it felt like it for the day. The house also had a movie theater in which my sister and I saw a late night flick. not two days after that I was looking at the prospect of if not for my sister's couch , being homeless, without a car. and I was eating bananas every day to save Money. Banana smoothies to be exact. now here I sit in my new old life with more than enough jobs and plenty to eat and a mind that kind rest with a car that works and a whole new found appreciation for everything in life. and the secret was to see that I was ok before too, but I missed having options. the very options that gave me a vague depression before because of their always being there, and my lack of disision. appearances can be diseving. you know one of the healthiest things you can do is eat bananas for every meal? it actually made me more than healthy. but where was I. I was burning this list, this list that I read every night up to the full moon cultivating the properties in and of my mind and sending them out into the empty space Vietcong for new breath. in a heroic world I would not have woos ed out when the fire got so so big while burning my paper. In a heroic world I would have marched out and lit the thing in my backyard and then thrown it into a small shrub type tree and watched the blaze and the night sky would turn to day ad then smoke would rise up to the heavens. but either way, I;m just as happy. It;s the process not the place your going. but you wont appreciate it anymore than you do right now, and you wont get anywhere that sounds good in a story of fortune without appreciation. This evening I am exploring my options by having movie night with a large salad and I built a fort in my living room, by myself. And I am just as happy as if I hadn't