your insane so be careful. . (when the kundalini energy is in high tide, some personal warnings received loud and clear bouncing off walls through empty space. from mouth to ether to ear, all the same. where where is damn ketchup, the anidote for this pile of oscilation of life energy turning into an annidote. Life excells when we take what we think we need out of it. Taking oneself lightly is far different than taking oneself heavily like most take the advice and join the herd. Lust for life comes in the wee hours to build a fire unemcumbered by rocks and the wetness of emotional attatchement. With out the light the moth would not be so I shall not burn up in it, stay in the ether as it pulls you along do not put boundaies in the air or you"ll think your breathing it all and "die". As we fly along there is just enough nothing to get us along to the next something. And you are doing it all the while. so don't give in to astonishment casue that's getting burned. Let's that be for those who need to see there is no death when your fires grow larger in the early morning dew.

there's a time and a season for everything or every reason on earth or however the song goes. do you have the power to let that be as you created from a strand of consciousness that makes it appear as if everything you do is out of place. it is only in recognizing that you've chosen it. recognition on these levels is not in the physical body. flight in space to new galixies is nothing outside of your expanding consciousness but if you recognize this then you've recognized that you've chosen a very claustrophobic existence to live out a drastic contRAST. recognition. recognition is love.

it's funny caue after a while you realize the only thing that ever sticks is love. and that's what life is about, it's all been asking you in a series of actions and thoughts, how much love will you bring to this moment. and that is called whipping the lens clean, and you can use any mean to find truth, sickness, health, objects, mental study, books, plants, until you don't need them anymore cause they are not the real thing, they a a projection of the real thing. and , you don't have to loose those things either, like when you realize that you are simply a reflectipon of your true self inthis world, like a lucid dreamer creating movies, then you are awake in this dream and in doing so, you have made your projection look at it's self so it knows, what it is, and with a clear lens you see that you have volitarily seperated from your trueself to whip the lens clean, and this projection will change, not in a more perfect way since it was always a projection of your real self which is whole and can never be imperfect, however you can tweak it to act from a place of knowing so that the image is closer to authenticity. that is actually how we bring heaven to earth. yup. yes sir I like it.

breaking away is hard when trying to change because you have to change the momentum that was sweeping you in a certain direction everyday. you can break all at once but if you keep clinging to even one thing in the old tide, all the other parts come rushing back in and out you go. a bit like quick sand, one iota of thought is attached to every other, however water is all smoke and mirrors when you change your vibration. sand could be too, but it takes alot more energy to turn sand into a glass for looking and then imagine putting all the energy into that glass to make it fall thicker on the bottom like the viscous liquid it is, usually takes a hundred years or so, like the time in training, to come back to the very windows you left here to see this eternity through again. show your reflection who you are. the things that make you light up are the reason all things are here.

we could have had it all

I finally went into this dance studio that I've been meaning to go into for a time now. A class was in session. the kids were about like five. The teachers tone was condecending. As if she were introducing them to the rough rough life they were going to encounter, giving a negative spin on everything they were to encounter, time to grow up now, time to stop giving yourself the allowances of a little kid like not paying attention, like talking to your friends LIKE ENJOYING ANYTHING. haha, now I'm taken back to sitting in a room facing this strange lady in a skirt asking me if why I defend my little sister so vehemtly is because what happens to her is like whtching things happen to me that have been unresolved. Well, yes, we see everything through the eyes that have seen everything else, and we can only unfold at the rate we are unfolding. But I do have the contiousness now that I had then. that is I KNEW what I was doing. But yet I was still very much attached to those emotions and I was not ready to let them go.there's a law of the universe, it's called the law of catastrophe. It basically states that horrible things have to happen, for hold on, I've gotta get the wording right on this, lemme go see (I've been writting the universal laws on pretty paper with like jelly beans and strawberries. The marker I've been using smells awsesome and has been getting me high I'm pretty sure) OK, here:"also reffered to as the stage of drama/trauma. An absolute necessity for the evolutionary process, motivated by many laws of totality, when the seed cracks and growth is permitted to begin. this occurs in the human experience and in nature...yikes, I wish I didn't get up to give a literal definition, where is my mind. I sing oh where is my mind. see, going through things that seem difficult gives you many powers, one of the most important is unbearable COMPASSION for other people. you understand the plight that others are facing that goes hand in hand with gut wrenching feelings of loss, abandonment, depair, dread. And when you really understnad this and have started to see yourself become better for it by just aserting what you had inside before during and after, the eyes that have seen then process all the way through sees the same thing in others and can truely be of service and help to souls that are in the process. and of course it's a never ending process, just when you think you've gotten somewhere, the path extends, until you stop thinking and then the material changes form. Hum, I know what I'm talking about, but that was a tangent. So, I see this dance teacher yelling at these little kids, and yes, kids need disapline, but they never need someone condesending. BUt I understand that the teacher id working on her own fears and this is a process, and this style of teaching will not be completely rewarding becasue what you put out comes back to you, and this is not love, so you will have not love coming back to you. And these will be the clues to help let what is being so friecly protacted in her heart with fear, out. these will be the things to break the seed. Maybe she needs to let these children know how serious it is to be a dancer and if you do not follow a certain proto call you will "fail" when you are looking at yourself through this society where you are only an established person when you have a job that brings you income and lots of certificates and acolades from establishment thatg make lots of money. Maybe she needs to know that she is good enough. maybe that would bring back her joy of dancing. then maybe she would feel love in her movement and love for herself that would break the seed of fear in her heart and plant new seeds in all those beautiful little children in leotards. ANd why am I ready to cry? Beacause I see it as I see myself. when the seed bursts it releases alot of love that was backed up.
ok seed. and contiousness. I wanna get back to that. cause last night the lights of this rose on my wall (ok I made it, and I saw it looks like a rose, from far away, with out my contacts on) were SO bright. and I mean like really really bright, so much so that I had to check there temperature casue I thought the little christmas lights were gonna set fire to the curtain in front of them. But I just stood there, becasuse like the old saying "a light burns brightest before it goes out" it's true. It's so weird to see in liffe though. and I had tweo thoughts after that...why does it happen to things with electricity AND people. Engery knows that it is energy and thought knows that it is thought. Electricity IS contious. kind of like the awarness I had when I was talking to the strange lady in the skirt, we all have an observer that is inside, some part of me was having intese emotions, but another part of me was seperate from the emotions knowing that I was having intense emotions. I just grabed my strawberry paper so I can read to you THE LAW OF apperception: Conscious of being flows within all units of the universe. Throughout all eternity, everything has consciousness and knows it's own conscious (oo that's two different levels there). Every single unit from the great cosmos to the tiniest atom knows what the function of it's unti is. So electricity, is energy, and has this contiousness just like my grandfather, who woke up on the day he died with ferocious energy and wanted liver and onions. and my grandmother knew that that was the day he would pass. THAT is another amazing story. I love you Pop-Pop. so, there is somthing inside of everything that has energy that Bursts with extra energy just before it...changes form. and this is seperate from thought, I'm pretty sure lights don't wake up having a feeling they are going to die and tries to squich out buckets of energy to live it up. It's well, ok where does the contiousness come from? wellahh, that's the question. I'm getting to the WHY do we all squeeze out energy in a sec. ThE LAW OF CENTER:A basic principal in nature, that everything has a canter from which it obtains it's source energy, intellegence and pattern which is continually self renewing. Each center is conected to every other center and to one center from which all life is vitalized.stop. So the center knows . wait hold up, i'm just gonna say, we don't die, ok, energy cannot be distroyed, we definately change form. To what, that has yet to be seen from this vantage point for all of us. unless it has, and then you have your answer. It's funny all the laws of the universe kind of juat are the blueprint for the grand illusion of this thing that is so powerful that is has the power to exist AND to not exist. you think it's in the electrons, but it's so hanging out in the space between them. Potential. is it? or is it not? that's our job here bringing all the (nots?) to is-es. I beleive contiousness squeezes out energy ..well, what is death really, and how does the body know how to do it..I already said that when the seed of catastrophe ocuurs the it is only to break open a seed and when that happens alot of love pours out since it was being blocked by negativity, and kind of like homeopathy, giving someone more of what is aliling them actually heals them. Like if you have a sore throat you give someone an herb that would produce a sore throat to heal them, becaseu that kicks in the bodies defences, or rather healing. But as humans we are an interesting mix of both death and life walking around, a certain number of cells have to keep dying in our bodies in order to maintain homeostasis other wize our cells would keeep multiplying, and we would have CANCER. which kills us. and there is actually a death enzyme, that ironically keeps us alive. and I think that when we exhude excess energy its because we need that for passing into what new form we will become. I remember something in science class, where, when you watch water boil, it stays at a certain temperature for longer than all the other temperatures, like just before it boils, becaseu it is gaining energy so it can do it's thing. so like, maybe when we die, the actual death enzyme let's up a little so we can gain some momentum and let life do what it's supposed to do to us..which is of course, haha, kill us. there. i'll go back and edit later...boo words

Lord dobler

wow. ok when you pass out of your body you can actually see thought forms. this is why Einstein was telling us that imagination was way more important than knowledge we are making it anyways. you know what sucks, is that, the whole time I was dancing I was not in the right vibration. I popped out right, I mean, I got my first leotard when I was 3 or 4 and I put it on and soared all around the living room in the bright sunshine coming through the windows and I knew I was there to do what I needed to do, that was my thing. and I remember listening to Micheal Jackson on the radio and knowing how to move as if I was working on the moves that I had been working on before I even popped out. And when we went out to the 4th of July celebrations the music tents were my favorit casue the music was so loud it thumped not just your body but the you inside and the you all around. and it moved others through you. and for a moment everything was perfect. But then you get introduced to thought patterns here in this little incarnation, and what you can put to good use for your benefit and make money doing. and that's when you start to slip away, albeit for your highest good so that eventually you can get back to this point. In describing his movie, the guy who wrote "say anything", he was talking about Loyd Dobler, and he said that the thing that actually made him hero was his CHOICE to be optimistic in the face of pessimism. What he meant was, Loyd was very aware of the dark forces at hand, the opinion of others and ones ability to destruct by getting hung up on the concerns that consume daily life, because he was more than intelligent. but what made him a hero was to choose better for himself. To not let others bring him down, and to help those that would listen. LodyDObler, was an actual person too. In writing the script this guy comes knock on his door looking to meet his new neighbor, and he's all "hi, there, just come to say hello, don't have many friends in the area, and I am into kick boxing, which I believe will be the sport of the future, have you ever heard of it?"
My favorite thing about Loyd in the movie is how he always calls people "gentleman". It shows he always gives the benefit of a doubt, or at least respects that every one's got room to change.

there are many layers to this thing. as long as your trip is layers. and then when you stop and say your trip's all about layers and then reach out and try to find someone else who's all about all their many layers, well, you'll find the opposite, since you must for a second think your not something if you reaach out and try and find something you think you might be cause you think you might actually not be that. for a second. and that's when your putting yourself in seconds. But sitting with the moment of now gives me heart burn, because without seconds i will be truly needless and I just dont wanna shut up. but I do. the higher the climb the deeper the fall if you look, casue YOU wanna know. look ma no hands