I finally went into this dance studio that I've been meaning to go into for a time now. A class was in session. the kids were about like five. The teachers tone was condecending. As if she were introducing them to the rough rough life they were going to encounter, giving a negative spin on everything they were to encounter, time to grow up now, time to stop giving yourself the allowances of a little kid like not paying attention, like talking to your friends LIKE ENJOYING ANYTHING. haha, now I'm taken back to sitting in a room facing this strange lady in a skirt asking me if why I defend my little sister so vehemtly is because what happens to her is like whtching things happen to me that have been unresolved. Well, yes, we see everything through the eyes that have seen everything else, and we can only unfold at the rate we are unfolding. But I do have the contiousness now that I had then. that is I KNEW what I was doing. But yet I was still very much attached to those emotions and I was not ready to let them go.there's a law of the universe, it's called the law of catastrophe. It basically states that horrible things have to happen, for hold on, I've gotta get the wording right on this, lemme go see (I've been writting the universal laws on pretty paper with like jelly beans and strawberries. The marker I've been using smells awsesome and has been getting me high I'm pretty sure) OK, here:"also reffered to as the stage of drama/trauma. An absolute necessity for the evolutionary process, motivated by many laws of totality, when the seed cracks and growth is permitted to begin. this occurs in the human experience and in nature...yikes, I wish I didn't get up to give a literal definition, where is my mind. I sing oh where is my mind. see, going through things that seem difficult gives you many powers, one of the most important is unbearable COMPASSION for other people. you understand the plight that others are facing that goes hand in hand with gut wrenching feelings of loss, abandonment, depair, dread. And when you really understnad this and have started to see yourself become better for it by just aserting what you had inside before during and after, the eyes that have seen then process all the way through sees the same thing in others and can truely be of service and help to souls that are in the process. and of course it's a never ending process, just when you think you've gotten somewhere, the path extends, until you stop thinking and then the material changes form. Hum, I know what I'm talking about, but that was a tangent. So, I see this dance teacher yelling at these little kids, and yes, kids need disapline, but they never need someone condesending. BUt I understand that the teacher id working on her own fears and this is a process, and this style of teaching will not be completely rewarding becasue what you put out comes back to you, and this is not love, so you will have not love coming back to you. And these will be the clues to help let what is being so friecly protacted in her heart with fear, out. these will be the things to break the seed. Maybe she needs to let these children know how serious it is to be a dancer and if you do not follow a certain proto call you will "fail" when you are looking at yourself through this society where you are only an established person when you have a job that brings you income and lots of certificates and acolades from establishment thatg make lots of money. Maybe she needs to know that she is good enough. maybe that would bring back her joy of dancing. then maybe she would feel love in her movement and love for herself that would break the seed of fear in her heart and plant new seeds in all those beautiful little children in leotards. ANd why am I ready to cry? Beacause I see it as I see myself. when the seed bursts it releases alot of love that was backed up.
ok seed. and contiousness. I wanna get back to that. cause last night the lights of this rose on my wall (ok I made it, and I saw it looks like a rose, from far away, with out my contacts on) were SO bright. and I mean like really really bright, so much so that I had to check there temperature casue I thought the little christmas lights were gonna set fire to the curtain in front of them. But I just stood there, becasuse like the old saying "a light burns brightest before it goes out" it's true. It's so weird to see in liffe though. and I had tweo thoughts after that...why does it happen to things with electricity AND people. Engery knows that it is energy and thought knows that it is thought. Electricity IS contious. kind of like the awarness I had when I was talking to the strange lady in the skirt, we all have an observer that is inside, some part of me was having intese emotions, but another part of me was seperate from the emotions knowing that I was having intense emotions. I just grabed my strawberry paper so I can read to you THE LAW OF apperception: Conscious of being flows within all units of the universe. Throughout all eternity, everything has consciousness and knows it's own conscious (oo that's two different levels there). Every single unit from the great cosmos to the tiniest atom knows what the function of it's unti is. So electricity, is energy, and has this contiousness just like my grandfather, who woke up on the day he died with ferocious energy and wanted liver and onions. and my grandmother knew that that was the day he would pass. THAT is another amazing story. I love you Pop-Pop. so, there is somthing inside of everything that has energy that Bursts with extra energy just before it...changes form. and this is seperate from thought, I'm pretty sure lights don't wake up having a feeling they are going to die and tries to squich out buckets of energy to live it up. It's well, ok where does the contiousness come from? wellahh, that's the question. I'm getting to the WHY do we all squeeze out energy in a sec. ThE LAW OF CENTER:A basic principal in nature, that everything has a canter from which it obtains it's source energy, intellegence and pattern which is continually self renewing. Each center is conected to every other center and to one center from which all life is vitalized.stop. So the center knows . wait hold up, i'm just gonna say, we don't die, ok, energy cannot be distroyed, we definately change form. To what, that has yet to be seen from this vantage point for all of us. unless it has, and then you have your answer. It's funny all the laws of the universe kind of juat are the blueprint for the grand illusion of this thing that is so powerful that is has the power to exist AND to not exist. you think it's in the electrons, but it's so hanging out in the space between them. Potential. is it? or is it not? that's our job here bringing all the (nots?) to is-es. I beleive contiousness squeezes out energy ..well, what is death really, and how does the body know how to do it..I already said that when the seed of catastrophe ocuurs the it is only to break open a seed and when that happens alot of love pours out since it was being blocked by negativity, and kind of like homeopathy, giving someone more of what is aliling them actually heals them. Like if you have a sore throat you give someone an herb that would produce a sore throat to heal them, becaseu that kicks in the bodies defences, or rather healing. But as humans we are an interesting mix of both death and life walking around, a certain number of cells have to keep dying in our bodies in order to maintain homeostasis other wize our cells would keeep multiplying, and we would have CANCER. which kills us. and there is actually a death enzyme, that ironically keeps us alive. and I think that when we exhude excess energy its because we need that for passing into what new form we will become. I remember something in science class, where, when you watch water boil, it stays at a certain temperature for longer than all the other temperatures, like just before it boils, becaseu it is gaining energy so it can do it's thing. so like, maybe when we die, the actual death enzyme let's up a little so we can gain some momentum and let life do what it's supposed to do to us..which is of course, haha, kill us. there. i'll go back and edit later...boo words
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